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	<title>Mormon Heretic &#187; Funny</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.mormonheretic.org/category/funny/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.mormonheretic.org</link>
	<description>Stuff they don't talk about in Sunday School</description>
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		<title>Eating Crow over Jimmer and Tim Tebow</title>
		<link>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2011/12/23/eating-crow-over-jimmer-and-tim-tebow/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2011/12/23/eating-crow-over-jimmer-and-tim-tebow/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Dec 2011 06:59:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mormon Heretic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Christian]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mormon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mormon Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Multi-Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mormonheretic.org/?p=1839</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Back in April, Rick Reilly of ESPN.com discussed Jimmer Fredette.  Reilly said &#8220;If his last college game is what he&#8217;s bringing to the NBA, then I&#8217;d say, in five years, he&#8217;s got a really good chance to be your Provo area Isuzu dealer.&#8221;  In another article, he said, &#8220;I&#8217;ll donate $5,000 if he starts a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.mormonheretic.org/2011/04/09/rick-reilly-dan-patrick-discuss-jimmer/">Back in April</a>, Rick Reilly of ESPN.com discussed Jimmer Fredette.  Reilly said &#8220;If his last college game is what he&#8217;s bringing to the NBA, then I&#8217;d say, in five years, he&#8217;s got a really good chance to be your Provo area Isuzu dealer.&#8221;  <a href="http://espn.go.com/blog/rick-reilly-go-fish/post/_/id/869/rick-reilly-mailbag">In another article</a>, he said, &#8220;I&#8217;ll donate $5,000 if he starts a game, any game, his first year in the league. I&#8217;m serious.&#8221;</p>
<p>Well, <a href="http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/7379786/rick-reilly-jimmer-fredette-nba">Reilly made out the check this week</a> when Jimmer started a pre-season game for the Sacramento Kings.  Quoting from Reilly, &#8220;In the check&#8217;s memo line, I wrote: Crow.&#8221;<span id="more-1839"></span></p>
<p>Reilly had quite a few complimentary things to say about Jimmer.</p>
<blockquote><p>I said he wouldn&#8217;t be able to get off his shot off in the NBA. So far, in two preseason games, he&#8217;s averaged 16.5 points. He&#8217;s been pyrotechnic from the wider NBA 3-point arc (67 percent). His handle is tighter than a coffee pot&#8217;s. His rebounding and defense still have more holes than a Danielle Steele novel, but, all in all, he&#8217;s been jaw-droppingly good.</p></blockquote>
<p>But here&#8217;s the best part:</p>
<blockquote><p>And now it looks like he has a chance to become the Tim Tebow of the NBA.</p></blockquote>
<p>Tim Tebow plays for the team I hate the most in the NFL: the Denver Broncos.  Yet I like Tim Tebow.  I can&#8217;t not root for the guy, even if I hate his team.  For a guy everybody said would be a bust in the NFL, and thought the Broncos were crazy to take him in the first round, Tebow has reeled off 6 consecutive wins in the closing minutes of games&#8211;all in miraculous fashion.   (Thankfully, my Patriots didn&#8217;t let Tim do any magic last week.)</p>
<p>Tebow expresses his religion more than anybody in recent memory.  (He&#8217;s a Southern Baptist.  Perhaps Reggie White came close.)  To top it off, <a href="http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/tebow/1374394/#.Tu3wyUHLdus.facebook">Saturday Night Live</a> did a funny bit on Tebow (and called Tom Brady &#8220;God&#8217;s nephew&#8221;.)  It&#8217;s good in it&#8217;s own right, but there was a very funny reference at the tail end of the skit, so watch it all the way to the end.</p>
<p>What&#8217;s your take on Jimmer or Tebow?</p>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Where are you Greenland?</title>
		<link>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2011/02/22/where-are-you-greenland/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2011/02/22/where-are-you-greenland/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:19:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mormon Heretic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Subjective]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mormonheretic.org/?p=1451</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve had Google Analytics installed since June 2009.  In that time, I&#8217;ve had visits from all over the world.  The largest (by land mass) country that has never visited my site is Greenland.  Obviously I&#8217;m not a big hit there.  So, if you have a friend in Greenland, tell them I&#8217;d love to welcome them [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;ve had Google Analytics installed since June 2009.  In that time, I&#8217;ve had visits from all over the world.  The largest (by land mass) country that has never visited my site is Greenland.  Obviously I&#8217;m not a big hit there.  So, if you have a friend in Greenland, tell them I&#8217;d love to welcome them to my blog, (they don&#8217;t even have to comment!)</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been visited by nearly every country in South America&#8211;<span id="more-1451"></span>missing only Guiana, and French Guiana.  Perhaps I can drum up some visitors from there.  (I&#8217;m big in Brazil&#8211;158 visits over almost 2 years.)  Europe looks great.  (I&#8217;ve never heard of Svalbard and Jan Mayen, so I&#8217;m not surprised they&#8217;ve  never visited.)  Former soviet republics don&#8217;t visit&#8211;I need a visitor from Belarus, Latvia, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan.  Surprisingly, I&#8217;m bigger in Ukraine (47 visits) than Russia (32).</p>
<p>Nearly all of the Middle East has visited.  Syria is my big empty spot.  I am making inroads into Africa, but I&#8217;m still missing a visitor from about half of the continent.  Laos, Papua New Guinea and North Korea are my last missing countries in Asia.</p>
<p>As for the U.S., apparently I don&#8217;t interest people in Delaware (40), North Dakota (45), or Rhode Island (48).  Almost 25% of my visitors come from Utah, with California (12.5%) and New York (6%) next.</p>
<p>Anybody know anybody in Greenland?</p>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Tom Cruise on Home Teaching</title>
		<link>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2010/10/17/tom-cruise-on-home-teaching/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2010/10/17/tom-cruise-on-home-teaching/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Oct 2010 22:00:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mormon Heretic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mormon]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mormonheretic.org/?p=1217</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I wish I could take credit for finding this, but the credit goes to Clean Cut.  My favorite part is Tom&#8217;s reaction to the question, &#8220;100% Home Teaching: is it possible?&#8221;]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I wish I could take credit for finding this, but the credit goes to <a href="http://latterdayspence.blogspot.com/2010/10/home-teaching-mission-impossible.html">Clean Cut</a>.  My favorite part is Tom&#8217;s reaction to the question, &#8220;100% Home Teaching: is it possible?&#8221;</p>
<p><object width="500" height="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TXGCGZa8YkE?fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TXGCGZa8YkE?fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="500" height="400" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Cool Mormon and Hannukah Videos</title>
		<link>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2009/12/20/cool-christmas-and-hannukah-videos/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2009/12/20/cool-christmas-and-hannukah-videos/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 02:52:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mormon Heretic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holiday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Judaism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mormon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mormon Culture]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mormonheretic.org/?p=857</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[BiV over at Mormon Matters posted a link to the Mormon Song from the Tonight Show with Conan O&#8217;Brien.  Apparently, Senator Orrin Hatch wrote a Hannukah Song, which I found really catchy, and Conan tried to follow suit, even including his on Tapper-nacle Choir to help him out.  This is my first video ever, so [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>BiV over at Mormon Matters posted a link to the Mormon Song from the Tonight Show with Conan O&#8217;Brien.  Apparently, Senator Orrin Hatch wrote a Hannukah Song, which I found really catchy, and Conan tried to follow suit, even including his on Tapper-nacle Choir to help him out.  This is my first video ever, so I&#8217;m hoping it works.  (Update:  Even though I upgraded to WordPress 2.9, which supposedly has built in video support, it isn&#8217;t working as advertised.  It was supposed to embed videos, but I&#8217;ll have to just post the links here.  For anyone out there who know how to embed videos into WordPress, please let me know.)</p>
<p>http://www.tonightshowwithconanobrien.com/video/clips/a-song-for-the-mormons-121409/1185331/</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s some other cool videos:</p>
<p><span id="more-857"></span>I don&#8217;t know about you, but I really like this Hannukah song by Sen. Hatch.  I love the quote at the end:  &#8220;All it is is a hip-hop Holiday song from the senior senator from Utah.  That&#8217;s all it is.&#8221;</p>
<p><object width="500" height="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XND3Naa6N5o?fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XND3Naa6N5o?fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="500" height="400" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p>Apparently Don Imus liked it.  (Yes, THAT Don Imus.)  Imus even said it&#8217;s one of the most downloaded songs on Amazon, right up there with Black Eyed Peas!</p>
<p>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-p1udCQXTs&amp;NR=1&amp;feature=fvwp</p>
<p>Here is Adam Sandler&#8217;s Original Hannukah Song.</p>
<p><object width="500" height="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Vrd9p47MPHg?fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Vrd9p47MPHg?fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="500" height="400" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p>BiV wrote some lyrics, and even <a href="http://mormonmatters.org/2009/12/16/the-bloggernacle-song-inspired-by-adam-sandler/">included me in one of the verses</a>!</p>
<p>I found this YouTube video on Famous Mormons that I liked.</p>
<p><object width="500" height="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7pqqArhRilI?fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7pqqArhRilI?fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="500" height="400" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p>Finally, Why can&#8217;t Mormons send flowers?</p>
<p><object width="500" height="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/25PGOODs99o?fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/25PGOODs99o?fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="500" height="400" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p>I know that&#8217;s a lot of videos, but what did you think of them?</p>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>PETA upset at Obama</title>
		<link>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2009/06/18/peta-upset-at-obama/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2009/06/18/peta-upset-at-obama/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Jun 2009 05:50:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mormon Heretic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mormonheretic.org/?p=598</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[President Obama swatted and killed a fly on television, and PETA is upset about it.  In case you think I&#8217;m making this up, here is the link from MSNBC.  Let me quote: PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>President Obama swatted and killed a fly on television, and PETA is upset about it.  In case you think I&#8217;m making this up, here is the link from <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31422688/" target="_blank">MSNBC</a>.  Let me quote:</p>
<p><em>PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside.</em></p>
<p class="textBodyBlack"><em>&#8220;We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals,&#8221; PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday. &#8220;We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals.&#8221;</em></p>
<p class="textBodyBlack">I&#8217;m all for the ethical treatment of animals, but not insects, and especially flies.  This is truly unbelievable.  I wonder what their position is on mosquitos.  Anybody know?<em><br />
</em></p>
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		<title>World&#8217;s Dumbest Marriage Proposal</title>
		<link>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2009/03/02/worlds-dumbest-marriage-proposal/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2009/03/02/worlds-dumbest-marriage-proposal/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Mar 2009 17:41:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mormon Heretic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mormon]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mormonheretic.org/?p=226</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ok, it&#8217;s always nice to be creative when proposing.  But hiding the ring in a milkshake, and then having a race to finish the shake is a really bad idea.  Yep, she swallowed it!  You can read more here.  (Oh yeah, they&#8217;re LDS.)]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ok, it&#8217;s always nice to be creative when proposing.  But hiding the ring in a milkshake, and then having a race to finish the shake is a really bad idea.  Yep, she swallowed it!  You can read <a title="Swallowed Engagement ring" href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29462344/" target="_blank">more here</a>.  (Oh yeah, they&#8217;re LDS.)</p>
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		<title>Saved from Jail by Temple Recommend</title>
		<link>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2008/12/15/saved-from-jail-by-temple-recommend/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2008/12/15/saved-from-jail-by-temple-recommend/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2008 06:55:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mormon Heretic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mormon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mormon Culture]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mormonheretic.org/?p=144</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You have got to read this post over at Normal Mormons.  It&#8217;s hilarious!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You have got to read this post over at <a title="Mormons and drugs" href="http://www.normalmormons.com/2008/12/mormons-and-drugs.html" target="_blank">Normal Mormons</a>.  It&#8217;s hilarious!</p>
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		<title>Using Fear, Pride, and Greed to pay Tithing</title>
		<link>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2008/09/28/using-fear-pride-and-greed-to-pay-tithing/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2008/09/28/using-fear-pride-and-greed-to-pay-tithing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:29:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mormon Heretic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Christian]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mormon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mormon Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Movie/Book Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Theology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tithing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mormonheretic.org/?p=101</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is an unusual post for me on 2 counts.  (1)  I generally hate lessons on tithing, because I don&#8217;t think there&#8217;s much new to say on the topic.  (2)  I tried to read &#8220;The Screwtape Letters&#8221; by CS Lewis a few years ago, and just couldn&#8217;t get through the book.  I&#8217;ve heard many people [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This is an unusual post for me on 2 counts.  (1)  I generally hate lessons on tithing, because I don&#8217;t think there&#8217;s much new to say on the topic.  (2)  I tried to read <em>&#8220;The Screwtape Letters&#8221;</em> by CS Lewis a few years ago, and just couldn&#8217;t get through the book.  I&#8217;ve heard many people quote CS Lewis, especially from this book, but I just didn&#8217;t like it.  However, I did like the movie &#8220;Shadowlands&#8221; which was based on some true stories of Mr Lewis.</p>
<p>A friend of mine gave me a copy of Sunstone, the magazine.  I&#8217;ve never read it before, and have really wanted to get it for quite some time.  I am very grateful to my friend for giving it to me.  I read the articles he suggested, as well as many others that he didn&#8217;t, and came across a really interesting one by Jeff Burton.</p>
<p><span id="more-101"></span></p>
<p>Burton writes a column using the style of the CS Lewis book, where the head devil writes to an apprentice devil on how to properly tempt people.  The <a title="How to tempt Mormons part 2" href="http://www.sunstoneonline.com/magazine/issues/143/143-70-71.pdf" target="_blank">full article is found here</a>, but I just wanted to quote a brief section of it, and get your reactions.  The article comes from the Nov 2006 issue.</p>
<blockquote><p>OKAY, let’s get down to today’s tempter training lesson. The most effective approaches to corrupting the practice of charitable giving are based on my favorite temptation principles: <em>fear, greed, </em>and <em>pride</em>. There are many variations, but if you handle them correctly, these three principles will work very well with your man.</p>
<p>For example, try to instill in your man a <em>fear </em>that if he does not pay tithing, he will incur the displeasure and wrath of a God who keeps score. Let him believe, for example, that he will get sick and won’t be able to work, or that his money will be stolen, and so forth.  Place into his mind the old Mormon saying, “I couldn’t afford not to pay tithing.” This fear based approach to giving is beneficial to our side because your man will not be sharing out of a sense of love and generosity; no, he will be paying in order to avoid trouble.</p>
<p>The second tactic is based on <em>greed</em>. Point out to your man the folklore common among many Mormon men that paying tithing will result in an outpouring of material blessings that will compensate for any sacrifice made to pay tithing. Be sure you emphasize the word “material” as it is central to the greed approach.  Yes, yes, I know that our Enemy often rewards those who are generous and unselfish, but often it’s in the worlds to come and in non-material ways. Your man must not be allowed to dwell on those facts.</p>
<p><em>Pride </em>can be useful here, too. Your man is a bit too young, but my man’s experience with <em>prideful giving</em> will be educational. Over the past few months, I have quietly reminded my man that liberal but discreetly public donations to the Church might be rewarded with future plum callings such as mission president, director of a visitor’s center, or other “white collar” or administrative callings that don’t involve getting directly involved in genuine service such as callings at Deseret Industries or the Humanitarian Center—<em>those</em> we must avoid like the plague. I have had my man envision the potential shoulder-rubbing with the very elect that may ensue&#8230; or the eventual call to a real position of authority, such as a Seventy! Of course it is <em>pride </em>that<br />
tells my man that this will come as a result of his “generosity” and “Christlike demeanor.”</p>
<p>We must be careful, of course. Unless fear, greed, or pride <em>continue </em>as the prime motivators for giving, your man may actually get caught up in that dangerous spirit of giving that relates to unselfishness, and this may put him on a path to assist in the work of our Enemy. It’s a danger we will have to workaround. I will be here to help you if your man<br />
doesn’t respond well to the fear, greed, and pride ploys.</p>
<p>When you are using money to tempt your man, it will help, of course, if your man adopts the prevalent assumptions of “to be successful, I need to make good money” and “I am expected to provide well for my wife and kids.” We have been very successful in encouraging many Mormons (and Americans in general) to “need” things. We’ve made them think it is their duty, even their prerogative, to “get stuff.” It makes it easier if your man, for example, thinks he is doing it “for the family.”  Yes, “a Humvee for the whole family!”</p></blockquote>
<p>Has Wormwood tempted you?  I&#8217;m afraid I am guilty of several bad attitudes mentioned above&#8230;.</p>
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		<slash:comments>18</slash:comments>
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		<title>Time for something funny</title>
		<link>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2008/03/29/time-for-something-funny/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mormonheretic.org/2008/03/29/time-for-something-funny/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 30 Mar 2008 01:30:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mormon Heretic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Multi-Faith]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mormonheretic.org/2008/03/29/time-for-something-funny/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Well, it&#8217;s good not to be too serious. Check out the video below. It&#8217;s proof we&#8217;re not the only &#8220;curious and unusual people&#8221;. Check out this video.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Well, it&#8217;s good not to be too serious.  Check out the video below.  It&#8217;s proof we&#8217;re not the only &#8220;curious and unusual people&#8221;.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIKL5kidup4&amp;eurl=http://mormonmatters.org/2008/03/29/putting-the-fun-back-in-fundamentalist/" title="Funny video" target="_blank">Check out this video.</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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